This is a guide I wrote on the Avvo website. It could be useful to you:
How to Prepare for an Uncontested Divorce - Avvo.com
Minimum Wage for Tipped Employees
14 years ago
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Monday, July 7, 2008
Like a fox!
Great post by fellow divorce lawyer Michael Sherman I wanted to share. So many people facing divorce or custody battles are out there looking for the "pit bull" lawyer, not thinking what damage that style may do to them and their families. Too many people, on the other hand settle for the lamb. His article explores the benefits of the fox (though I migh choose owl or eagle as a better metaphor.) Anyway, here it is:
I am frequently asked by prospective divorce clients if I will be aggressive... or a pit bull... or a shark. They phrase it differently. But, many folks facing divorce think that what they need is the most aggressive divorce lawyer in Alabama (or whatever jurisdiction they happen to be in).
In my years of divorce practice I have seen lots of lawyers handle divorce cases. There are as many different styles as there are different lawyers. But, I have also noticed three recurring styles of lawyer in particular. I call them the lamb, the pit bull and the fox.
The lamb is the lawyer that just sort of goes with the flow. They are reactive, not proactive. They want to avoid confrontation at all costs and that means they also want to avoid going to court at all costs, even if it means convincing their clients to settle for significantly worse terms than they should. The lamb may even be afraid to try the divorce case. He will rarely, if ever, tell his client that he should not sign a settlement offer that is being extended from the other side even if that offer is clearly inequitable. Thankfully, there are not a lot of lambs that last very long as divorce lawyers.
Much more prevalent is the pit bull, who is exactly the opposite. They hate to settle cases. In fact, some of them won’t do anything proactive to try to settle their divorce cases. It is almost as if they take some type of perverse joy in seeing the “blood running in the streets.” The truth is that often they do this simply to develop and maintain a reputation as “Bad Leroy Brown…baddest man in the whole damn town.” When a spouse is angry and in the emotional stage of wanting to exact revenge, they want to be the name on everyone’s lips when that aggrieved spouse asks their neighbor who is the meanest SOB in town. And, so they work hard to maintain that reputation because it makes them a lot of money.
The sad part is that acting like a pit bull is rarely, if ever, in their own client’s best interests. Of course, the pit bull’s main concern is not their client. If you know anything about pit bulls, you will know that they are very aggressive and vicious. But, they are not thinking animals. They act only on instinct. When they fight, they not only destroy the dog they are fighting, but by their own actions hurt themselves and anything else around them (which often includes their own client’s and their client’s children).
The pit bull is aggressive for the sake of being aggressive, not for any long-term benefit it brings their client. Often people going through divorce will think they need an aggressive lawyer to represent them in their divorce. They are wrong. What they need is a lawyer who is assertive. There is a difference. It is the difference between the pit bull and the fox.
The fox is wise and cunning. He sees the big picture. The fox is assertive when he needs to be, compromising when it benefits his clients’ long-term best interests, and always aware of the many different consequences his actions have on his clients. He stands on principle. Yet, he is a strong advocate for his client when it promotes his client’s long-term best interests. He recognizes that reaching a fair settlement is always preferable to trying the case and leaving it up to the judge. Yet, he also knows that if a fair settlement is not forthcoming, then he must be willing and able to prepare to effectively litigate the case in court.
When choosing a divorce lawyer, you should avoid the lamb and the pit bull at all costs. Instead, find yourself a fox.
I am frequently asked by prospective divorce clients if I will be aggressive... or a pit bull... or a shark. They phrase it differently. But, many folks facing divorce think that what they need is the most aggressive divorce lawyer in Alabama (or whatever jurisdiction they happen to be in).
In my years of divorce practice I have seen lots of lawyers handle divorce cases. There are as many different styles as there are different lawyers. But, I have also noticed three recurring styles of lawyer in particular. I call them the lamb, the pit bull and the fox.
The lamb is the lawyer that just sort of goes with the flow. They are reactive, not proactive. They want to avoid confrontation at all costs and that means they also want to avoid going to court at all costs, even if it means convincing their clients to settle for significantly worse terms than they should. The lamb may even be afraid to try the divorce case. He will rarely, if ever, tell his client that he should not sign a settlement offer that is being extended from the other side even if that offer is clearly inequitable. Thankfully, there are not a lot of lambs that last very long as divorce lawyers.
Much more prevalent is the pit bull, who is exactly the opposite. They hate to settle cases. In fact, some of them won’t do anything proactive to try to settle their divorce cases. It is almost as if they take some type of perverse joy in seeing the “blood running in the streets.” The truth is that often they do this simply to develop and maintain a reputation as “Bad Leroy Brown…baddest man in the whole damn town.” When a spouse is angry and in the emotional stage of wanting to exact revenge, they want to be the name on everyone’s lips when that aggrieved spouse asks their neighbor who is the meanest SOB in town. And, so they work hard to maintain that reputation because it makes them a lot of money.
The sad part is that acting like a pit bull is rarely, if ever, in their own client’s best interests. Of course, the pit bull’s main concern is not their client. If you know anything about pit bulls, you will know that they are very aggressive and vicious. But, they are not thinking animals. They act only on instinct. When they fight, they not only destroy the dog they are fighting, but by their own actions hurt themselves and anything else around them (which often includes their own client’s and their client’s children).
The pit bull is aggressive for the sake of being aggressive, not for any long-term benefit it brings their client. Often people going through divorce will think they need an aggressive lawyer to represent them in their divorce. They are wrong. What they need is a lawyer who is assertive. There is a difference. It is the difference between the pit bull and the fox.
The fox is wise and cunning. He sees the big picture. The fox is assertive when he needs to be, compromising when it benefits his clients’ long-term best interests, and always aware of the many different consequences his actions have on his clients. He stands on principle. Yet, he is a strong advocate for his client when it promotes his client’s long-term best interests. He recognizes that reaching a fair settlement is always preferable to trying the case and leaving it up to the judge. Yet, he also knows that if a fair settlement is not forthcoming, then he must be willing and able to prepare to effectively litigate the case in court.
When choosing a divorce lawyer, you should avoid the lamb and the pit bull at all costs. Instead, find yourself a fox.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Uncontested Divorce
Even when uncontested, it is important to have a competent, qualified and exprienced attorney represent your interests in a divorce. There are many consequences to your (and your children's) future that will be affected by the choices you make during this time, often in ways you might not have anticipated. It doesn't have to be a tremendous expense, but in many circumstances it is a "pay now or pay later" decision. The "pay later" can be many times the expense in money, and even more in headache, heartache, and unexpected restrictions on your ability to choose the progress of your life.
Many attorneys will "flat fee" a truly uncontested divorce. In today's landscape, this should represent between 4 and 6 hours of attorney time to provide the care and attention to asset division, alimony, child support, custody arrangements, living arrangements, and other necessary planning. Attorneys charging substantially less than this expect to put substantially less work into your case.
Bear in mind that your divorce is the beginning of your new life, and a new beginning for your family. Doing the work now to forge your divorce so as to serve as a reliable foundation for your future is a wise investment.
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